


Warmer than a Birthday Candle

by Kenunot



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Touken, happy birthday kaneki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 20:25:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13084695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kenunot/pseuds/Kenunot
Summary: Kaneki has had a lot of birthdays some good and others filled with unimaginable pain.





	Warmer than a Birthday Candle

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write a fic for my favorite characters birthday, I'm really proud of this

It was always a cupcake, a day off, a book, and a day of no pain. That was how Kaneki spent his birthdays as a child since he could remember. It was the one day his mother always took off just to spend his birthday with him. She spent the whole day being warm and kind only ever lifting her hand to brush his hair back in a warm comforting manner. They would spend the day reading the book she let him pick from the bookstore, his mother helping him whenever he stumbled on a particular hard kanji. She would always make him hamburgers his favorite, and when he finished his dinner she would bring him the signal of the end of his happy day with her, a simple cupcake with a single candle

“Happy Birthday Ken, make a great big wish.” she would say as he blew out his candles. He always wished for more warm days with his mother.

When his mother died no one remembered his birthday besides Hide, they were no longer celebrated with a cupcake, but an extra bag of fries. Hide always managed to make his birthday special even though he didn’t find much joy in them anymore. Hide would miss all of this clubs feigning a cold, taking Kaneki to a McDonalds to eat burgers on top of the hug rock in the nearby park.

“ Oh look they gave us extra fries, Kaneki do you want them.” Hide exclaimed to him excitedly. 

“I think you should have them.” Kaneki answered with the suspicion that Hide must have bought them.

“Nah Kaneki, I have to keep in shape if I’m gonna continue my heartthrob ways, your a little on the skinny side so they will do you some good.” Hide told him as he shoved them into his hands.

“Also Kaneki I got this for your birthday.” Hide handed him a messily wrapped gift to which made Kaneki felt guilty. Hide always got him a gift, but Kaneki could never afford to do the same for him when his birthday came around.

“ You didn’t have to give me a gift.” Kaneki told him softly.

“Jeez Kaneki just open it, it’s not a big deal.” Hide insisted.

Kaneki removed the wrapping carefully making sure to not lose any of wrapping paper so he could dispose of it later. It was Dear Kafka by Takatsuki Sen, which he had obviously read before, but among the items his aunt threw out alongside Hide’s magazines.

“It’s Takatsuki Sen you like him,right?” Hide said scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

Kaneki didn’t even bother correcting him that Takatsuki was female.

“ I love it, thank you.” Kaneki told him, feeling like he was about to cry at the gesture.

“ I’m glad,” Hide smiled softly at him.

“Happy Birthday Kaneki.” he added wrapping his arm around his shoulder to hug him.

Kaneki spent his 19th birthday, feeling the empty relief of freedom after days and days of being tortured in a chair by Yamori. Beating the life out of Yamori and breaking half of Ayato to save Touka did nothing to help the sad emptiness making the emotional void in him bigger. He didn’t even realize it was his birthday, until he asked Yomo for the date as they left the Aogiri hideout. It was on that day that Kaneki unconsciously decided that he would die to keep everyone safe, so he could be loved finally in death. Kaneki was so tired, his night plagued with nightmares, it was the first time he ever felt older on his birthday.

His Birthdays as Haise, were spent celebrating Arima’s, he spent his morning baking a cake, and following Arima around like a lost puppy more than usual. It was on his birthday that Arima looked at him sadly, which confused him every year. Haise loved spending Arima’s birthday with him because he the closest person to a father he ever had.Haise always reserved a conference room, so Arima and him can spare during breaks as well as eat the cake that Haise spent so much time making. He loved giving him a books to read, ones that they could talk about the next time they got together. Arima’s meant a lot to him, because he loved Arima so much, and those moments together were cherished as their positions kept them busy. It was one of the few moments where it wasn’t mentor and mentee but he felt like they were truly a family. These were some of his happiest birthday memories, from a time he didn’t even know that it was.

His last birthday as Haise was supposed to his last birthday. He had it all planned on his birthday he would be the most selfish selfless person. He would die to save Hinami, but it would be just what he wanted. He just wanted to be free from his suffering, it had been so long since he felt some kind of peace, he just wanted peace he was so tired. But, Touka-chan is cruel, and made him realize that there was someone out their that cared about him. That birthday taught him that even though he hurt so bad he still deep down wanted to live, through his mind pretending to be Hide to get through to him. Yet, just as soon as that resolve to live for himself came, it crumbled just as quick when the man he saw as his father killed himself. As he held Arima in his arms, he was given a large weight to hold, the wishes of a deadman. Thus his birthday had become the reminder of losing someone he loved so very much.

This birthday was quieter than the rest, just a few happy birthdays, and Hide barging into his with a movie. But, he had left and Kaneki was all alone, Touka had been very flustered as of late with the baby being due in only eight days, she refused to just relax or let him take care of her. He wasn’t shocked in the least that something as small and meaningless as his birthday was forgotten. They both had bigger things to fry, like finally settling down on a name that they both liked, for someone so willing to let him name their son, Touka had a lot of “why would you name our child that” moments. Touka was currently out getting a few last things for the baby on her own. As much as he wished he could be with her, she refused stating she wasn’t made of glass, which was a cover up for a bigger issue. Ever since his incident Kaneki hasn’t been able to go outside without having a mental break down. He was fine for a few minutes, sometimes even an hour, but not any longer. Everytime he went out he was overcome with grief and anxiety, even though the world has forgotten what he had done thanks to Hide and the CCG, he still knew what he did. He destroyed lives, and couldn’t look at a human or ghoul without being overcome with guilt and fear of how he must of hurt them somehow. He was getting help, but it was a slow process, even feeling worthy enough to touch Touka had taken him took a long time.

He was happy just to read a book that Hinami had given him for the whole day to distract himself from his own thoughts. Just as he reached the last page he heard the front door of their apartment open. Kaneki turned to stare at who had come into the apartment waiting for a sign that it was Touka. Instead of being greeted with a simple “I’m home”, he got something different.

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Ken happy birthday to you!” he heard sung quietly and a little offkey which made his heart scream as he stared at Touka, who was not only wearing a party hat on her head but also on her stomach. Touka slowly walked into the apartment with birthday crown in one hand, and a single blue cupcake in the other.

“Oi, stop staring at me like that, did you think I would forget your birthday loser.” Touka scolded him lovingly as she placed the crown on his head from behind the couch.

“ For the King.” she told him kissing the top of his head.

Kaneki hated his birthday, it was a day filled with so much pain and grief, he hasn’t had a good one in years. Yet, with a gesture so small, it removed all the lingering pain that was on his soul today. It warmed his heart to the point it felt like it might melt out of his chest.

“ Why are you crying Ken?” Touka asked concern in her eyes. “ Gosh sometimes I think your gonna be a bigger baby than the actual kid.” she admonished jokingly.

“ Now blow out your candle out before it burns the apartment down or the wax gets into the cupcake, I’m eating it not you.” Touka barked at him placing the cupcake right in front of his face.

“ Make a wish.” she whispered. Kaneki thought hard for a second before blowing out the candle.

“What did you wish for? She asked curious.

“To name him Kishou.” Kaneki told her seriously.

“Ken I know you admired him, but I would rather not name him after the CCG reaper and she could still be a girl. But keep trying Ken I believe in you.” Touka told him sadly kissing him on the cheek before pulling away to join him on the couch to eat the cupcake. Kaneki stared at Touka as she started to eat the cupcake without even a flinch.

“ I wish you would have wished for the baby to come out sooner.” she muttered causing Kaneki to laugh.

“ Don’t laugh, your kid is being uncomfortable lately.”

“ I’m sorry Touka.” Kaneki smiled.

“ Do you want to try some?” Touka asked after swallowing another bite. Kaneki nodded his head as she lifted it to his mouth to take a bite. Kaneki regretted it the moment it touched his tongue instantaneously spitting it out, coughing much to Touka’s amusement.

“God damn it Ken eat it like a man, you wasted perfectly good bite of cake holy shit.” she laughed at him.

“Sorry, I will clean this up.” Ken apologized his hands in the air.

“You better Ken I can’t exactly bend down to clean it” Touka told him through her laughter, watching as he raced to clean it up.

“ Ken I got you more than just a cupcake by the way, I didn’t have time to wrap it but I thought you could still like it.” She told him holding the bag out to him as he finished cleaning up his mess.

Kaneki stood up reaching out for the bag in her hand, it label giving away that it was from the local bookstore which made him smile.

“Here give me that to throw away as you look at it.” Touka insisted reaching her hand out for the paper towel, as well as Kaneki’s help getting off the couch. Kaneki carefully lifted her up handing over the garbage, before opening the bag. Inside housed a brightly colored picture book with a rabbit on the cover instead of the novel he expected.

“ I know, it’s not one of those weird books you like to read, but I thought you can use it to spread your love of reading to the kid. I don’t want him ending up like me in that regard.” Touka called out from the kitchen, the nerves noticeable in her voice.

Kaneki couldn’t contain his emotions at the gift as he was moved to tears. This meant more to him than anything else in his life. He could share his love of reading with his child, and he could do it differently, better than his mother, be a better parent. Something he never thought he would have the opportunity to do. He still hasn’t fully opened up to Touka about his past, he didn’t know how to approach it, and he didn’t want her to feel guilty for how she treated him over the years. Because while he knew she never meant her actions hurtfully, and he never took it as such, he just doesn’t want to taint their past. It was because of that though that he couldn’t express how much this meant to him. To have a family and have the opportunity to prove he could and would not become his mother. This small gift showed Touka’s faith in him to be a good father, something that terrified him from the moment she told him she was pregnant.

“ I love it Touka so much.” he smiled wetly at her as she walked back at him.

“ You have snot running out of your nose.” she pointed out her eyes so loving as she pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket wiping his tears away.

“ I’m sorry.” he cried. “ I’m just so happy Touka.” he told her placing his empty hand on Touka’s stomach feeling his heart flutter when he felt a soft kick.

“ It’s just a book.” Touka told him with a warm smile still brushing as his tears.

“It’s not just the book, thank you for being my family. Thank you for loving me enough to stay with me even after all I have done.”

“Kaneki there was nothing you could ever do to make me stop loving you, and there is no one I would have rather started a family with.” Touka still wiping at his tears, which Kaneki gently stopped to lean in to kiss her on the lips, slowly deepening it until Touka backed away to catch her breath.

“ Not gonna lie, the book was a little last minute I was gonna hoping the kid would decide to join us, but alas he did not.” she told him breathlessly.

“ That would have been a better gift Touka.” Kaneki laughed.

“Hey there was nothing I could do about that.” Touka shrieked a little, swatting Kaneki .

“ You know there is still time for them to come.” Kaneki told her seriously looking at her his eyes burning.

“ How would you suggest that happen Ken.” Touka asked confused as he leaned in closer.

“ Just a little thing I read in a book.” Kaneki whispered before reclaiming her lips and slowly snaked his hand up her shirt leading her towards their bedroom.

It sadly didn’t work, but it still made for the best birthday he had had in a long time, where he felt the love and cherished like he always wished for as a child.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this one shot as much as I liked writing it, please leave a kudos and comment if you did.  
> You can find me on  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/kanekikenunut)  
> [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kanekikenunot)  
> 


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